she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
