Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
