My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
