if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
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