ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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