there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
