Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm so fucking centered right now
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I'm passing your future prison.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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