Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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