he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
