Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
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