I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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