I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
