Capitaan dildo arrescate!
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
