In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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