I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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