There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
