Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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