Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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