If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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