It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
