can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
