you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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