thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
