She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
