i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
you made out with another girl for some wings
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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