Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
