i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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