We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
