he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
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