What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
