id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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