I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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