Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
