i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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