I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
