I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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