I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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