I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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