Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
