If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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