We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
