seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
