i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
