I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
