How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
