Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
