I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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