Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
