considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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