you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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