I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
